Romantic Fashion Fantasy - DASHED

Ok. The problem with fashion catalogs and magazines is that the models don't actually walk. They don't put on these (sometimes) gorgeous clothes and go up and down stairs and walk around an office and squat in front of the damn fax machine to figure out where the stupid paper jam is.

But still the fantasy lives on. Someday, I think, I will look model-perfect and glamorous even after squatting in front of said damn fax machine.

But today is a big fat piece of reality. Which means that the lovely cream colored opaque tights I'm wearing are giving me elelphant ankles. And elephant knees. And the waistband is somewhere around my hips (which should be a good sign - tights too big means weight loss, right?). And the best part?

The crotch is somewhere around mid-thigh. NICE.

So instead of looking like an Anthropologie catalog, I will continue to look like one of the Marx brothers, walking around like a penguin so that said tights don't decide to make like geese and migrate even further south.

Sigh......